Christmas Greetings
by Nicola Mody

My response to a Lysator B7 mailing list Christmas challenge where we were asked what the various characters in Blake's 7 would send each other as 'seasonal messages' - assuming they had an equivalent to Christmas and other religious festivals?

 

Blake to all:
Season's greetings and a happy new year. Here's wishing for peace, freedom, and justice for all except the convicted felons among us. Blake.

Avon to all:
I fail to see why I should send any of you greetings when I see you on the flight deck every day. Avon.

Avon to Blake:
I'm not stupid, I'm not sozzled, I'm not sentimental, and I'm not going to your pointless party. Avon.

Avon to Vila:
It is not the thought that counts, Vila, especially not in your case. I expect my present to be expensive, tasteful, unused, and purchased retail, not from your latest larcenous haul. Avon.

Avon to Santa:
I didn't get the scooter I wanted as a child, nor the 500,000 credits I asked for last year, and I bet you don't give me the Liberator this year. Have you betrayed me, Santa? Oh, you can run, but you cannot hide. Avon.

Vila to all:
Christmas is coming,
the still is running hot.
An extremely merry Christmas to all of you, and a very very very happy new year. Vila. (At least that's what the nametag on my cabin door says.)

Vila to Cally:
Happy Christmas, Cally! I've got the perfect present for you this year, nicely wrapped too. And human tradition says you have to be grateful and accept me with pleasure! Vila.

Cally to all:
A happy Masschrist and a merry old yearly Hanukkah. Have I got that right? Or, as my people say, may all your thoughts be pleasant ones, and if not, may you cry alone and silently. Cally.

Cally to Vila:
The SPCA recommends that pets not be given as presents, Vila, as so many are abandoned when they grow out of the cute stage. Cally.

Gan to all:
Thank you to a great team. I'd give everything I have for you all. Gan.

Jenna to all:
Best wishes to all except the person who put mistletoe over the pilot's station. You know who you are, Vila. Jenna.

The end