Transcript of ‘The Syndeton Experiment’

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[Scorpio]

VILA 

[eating] Does that mean we’ve given up?

AVON 

Do you have to speak with your mouth full?

VILA 

I’m not—I’m not going through another hyper-jump with an empty stomach. Have we given up? That’s all I’m asking.

SOOLIN 

Mission aborted, yes. I’m beginning to think we should never have agreed to it in the first place.

TARRANT 

No...no...no!

DAYNA 

He’s coming round.

TARRANT 

Ah...ah...

DAYNA 

It’s all right, you’re back on board.

TARRANT 

Where...what...what happened?

AVON 

Thanks to your habitual arrogance, you nearly finished the lot of us.

TARRANT 

What?

DAYNA 

You forgot your bracelet, Tarrant.

TARRANT 

Ah.

AVON 

And we’re not clear yet. Slave, report.

SLAVE 

One minute ten seconds to hyper-position, master. No sign of pursuit.

AVON 

That’s odd. Orac?

ORAC 

Still no indication of Federation activity in the vicinity of the planet. However, as I attempted to explain before, should they disable all electronic activity, they would be invisible to me.

AVON 

Oh, that’s a great help.

TARRANT 

I’m sorry.

DAYNA 

No, don’t try to get up.

TARRANT 

I’m all right.

DAYNA 

You might have to take it easy for a while.

TARRANT 

I tell you, I’m all right! I just...I just need a drink. Where are we going?

DAYNA 

Back to base.

SLAVE 

Ten seconds to hyper-jump. Ten...nine...eight...

TARRANT 

Stop the countdown! Back! All of you, over there!

SOOLIN 

Tarrant!

TARRANT 

You heard me, move!

VILA 

Oy, watch it!

TARRANT 

This is no joke. If I didn’t need you all, you’d be dead. Now do as I say.

AVON 

[quietly] Do it.

SOOLIN 

What’s all this about?

AVON 

Isn’t it obvious?

SOOLIN 

What? Oh, yes, of course.

DAYNA 

Servalan.

AVON 

Precisely.

VILA 

What are you talking about?

AVON 

Just do as he says.

TARRANT 

That’s better. Slave, execute hyper-jump, time distort ten, coordinates 7720 6294 8462 6133.

SLAVE 

Er, yes, sir. Ten seconds to hyper-jump. Ten...nine...eight...

AVON 

So where are you taking us?

SLAVE 

...six...five...four...

TARRANT 

We’re paying a visit to Doctor Rossum. We’re going to Kapeka.

SLAVE 

...three...two...one...zero.

[Scorpio enters hyperspace]

VILA 

[strained] You might have let me finish my breakfast...

AVON 

Now what? Are you intending to hold that gun on us for the whole of the journey to—where was it? Kapeka?

TARRANT 

What...I...I don’t know what...what one holding me but...

DAYNA 

He’s going to pass out.

[Tarrant drops the gun]

AVON 

Soolin, get the gun!

SOOLIN 

Right!

DAYNA 

It’s all right. Just take it gently. You’ll be fine.

TARRANT 

What...what’s going on?

AVON 

You tell us. You pulled the gun on us.

TARRANT 

I know... I know I did. But why did I do it? I just...felt that I had to, like voices in my—

SOOLIN 

But not any more?

TARRANT 

No, I...no.

VILA 

You’d better sit down before you fall down.

AVON 

Well away from the guns, if you don’t mind.

TARRANT 

But I wouldn’t... I don’t get it.

SOOLIN 

It sounds to me like a post-hypnotic suggestion. You were out cold when we picked you up from Syndexia. Maybe you were in a hypnotic trance. What did Servalan do to you?

VILA 

Does it really matter? The point is that we can turn round and go home now.

AVON 

How do you suggest that we turn round when all directions are the same?

VILA 

Eh?

DAYNA 

He means that we’re going to Kapeka whether we like it or not. Once we’re out of hyperspace we can talk about going home.

AVON 

If that’s what we decide. Servalan must have a very good reason for wanting to send us to Kapeka. I’d like to know what that reason is. If she hypnotised Tarrant—

ORAC 

My programming makes it impossible for me not to interrupt.

AVON 

What is it, Orac?

ORAC 

I took the precaution of logging on to the main computer of Syndexia, as is my wont. I would suggest that the one who calls himself Tarrant was not hypnotised, but had a syndeton nanochip implanted in his hypothalamus—

TARRANT 

What!

AVON 

Quiet!

ORAC 

—which placed him under the telepathic control of this Servalan. Her purpose—

TARRANT 

Hang on a minute! If that’s the case, why isn’t Servalan still controlling me?

ORAC 

I should have thought that that would be clear to the meanest intelligence.

TARRANT 

Obviously not. Tell me!

ORAC 

The syndeton in the nanochip provides a hyper-channel between the two brains. Once one of them is in hyperspace, the channel vanishes into the void. And so too do Servalan’s thought directions, which will be similarly dissipated and diffused—

VILA 

Yeah, got it! You mean like when you’re three years old, peeing in the bath?

ORAC 

One moment... That experience does not appear in my memory banks.

VILA 

Well, you see, you need to have a—

DAYNA 

Vila, shut up! Orac, you were about to tell us why we’re being sent to Kapeka.

ORAC 

It is probable that what is sought is the outcome of the research upon which Doctor Rossum was engaged at the time he escaped from Syndexia and set himself up on Kapeka.

AVON 

Ah. And what was that?

ORAC 

A development of the simple syndeton nanochip to make possible the connection of any number of separate brains, and join them to one network coordinated by a central computer which would effectively be controlled by the one to whose neural network the total complex was tuned.

VILA 

Um, do you think you could run through that again at a gentle trot? I lost you halfway down the back straight.

AVON 

Don’t you see, it would be a gestalt.

VILA 

That rings a bell.

SOOLIN 

I should think it does.

VILA 

Yeah, but what is it?

TARRANT 

A whole that’s more than just the sum of its parts, like...like an ant’s nest.

AVON 

No wonder Servalan’s after it. All the different individual brains would just become offshoots of hers.

VILA 

I rather fancy the idea of Servalan as a queen ant. I wouldn’t give her eggs to my goldfish though.

SOOLIN 

But where do we come in?

AVON 

Where indeed? Orac!

ORAC 

Unfortunately, with Servalan’s plan, there is a major—

SLAVE 

[at the same time] Ten seconds to hyper-jump. Ten...nine...eight... [he continues to count down during the following]

ORAC 

I have not finished my explanation. It would be most unlike—

AVON 

Careful, Orac

ORAC 

You should be cognisant of the fact that—

[Avon removes his key]

SLAVE 

...two...one.

[Scorpio leaves hyperspace]

VILA 

Give us a chance! Ohhhh...

AVON 

Right. Back to base, or do we pay our respects to Doctor Rossum?

TARRANT 

I’m afraid you have no choice.

AVON 

What do you mean?

TARRANT 

If you don’t do as I say, I shall depressurise the ship.

THE WOMEN 

Oh.

AVON 

Servalan. She’s got here first.

TARRANT 

She has. Soolin? Give me that gun. Slowly. Now back away.

SOOLIN 

OK?

TARRANT 

Thank you.

[Titan]

SERVALAN 

Commander.

MODNITZ 

Yes, commissioner.

SERVALAN 

Keep them in your sights. If I give the word, terminate them. Vledka.

VLEDKA 

Yes...commissioner?

SERVALAN 

Open a communication link

[Scorpio]

TARRANT 

Orac was quite correct. We’re going down to get hold of Doctor Rossum’s new process. If it still exists.

AVON 

What do you mean?

DAYNA 

Why can’t she go herself?

SERVALAN 

[over comms] Scorpio. Do you hear me?

AVON 

Servalan. What do you want from us?

SERVALAN 

I want the pleasure of knowing that you are fully aware of what is in store for you. You heard what your friend Tarrant said.

AVON 

Why can’t you go down yourself?

SERVALAN 

Why should you believe me if I told you? Ask your own computer. Slave. Tell them.

SLAVE 

Negative. Unauthorised order.

SERVALAN 

Tarrant.

TARRANT 

Tell them, Slave.

SLAVE 

Sir?

TARRANT 

Give us a first landing report on this planet.

SLAVE 

Yes, sir. The planet Kapeka: Earth-type, .87 mass, atmosphere nitrogen-based, 24% oxygen and no fractions inimical to human life. Largely temperate climate with adequate rainfall to support—

SERVALAN 

Quite a little paradise, wouldn’t you say? Why don’t you have a look at it?

AVON 

Slave? Show us.

SLAVE 

Yes, master. [he does]

DAYNA 

It’s on fire!

SERVALAN 

Not quite.

TARRANT 

Tell us why Kapeka looks like that, Slave.

SLAVE 

Er, yes, sir. The whole planet is intensely radioactive. To descend below stratosphere level would be fatal.

VILA 

Oh, great.

AVON 

I see.

SERVALAN 

Why this should be, nobody knows. Presumably some sort of nuclear disaster. Doctor Rossum is probably dead by now.

SOOLIN 

What what’s the point of sending us down if he’s dead?

SERVALAN 

Ahh, well. The results of his experiments, the records, may still exist, and the information that Tarrant could find for me should enable me to obtain unassailable control of the Federation. And even if he fails, I shall be able to go to bed tonight with the amusing—no, the delectable thought that you are all going to die a very nasty death. Good bye.

[she closes comms]

SOOLIN 

As charming as ever.

TARRANT 

Slave, initiate landing countdown.

SLAVE 

Yes, sir.

AVON 

That order is countermanded. Abort the countdown.

SLAVE 

Yes, master.

TARRANT 

Do it!

AVON 

No!

SLAVE 

Er, deeply sorry, master, but if I’m subjected to contradictory orders, my stability governor will cease to function.

TARRANT 

You shall obey me.

SLAVE 

Er, yes, sir.

DAYNA 

No, don’t!

SLAVE 

Er, no, madam.

TARRANT 

You shall.

SLAVE 

Er, yes, sir.

SOOLIN 

Don’t listen to him!

SLAVE 

No, madam.

VILA 

Stop it! You’re giving the poor old codger a nervous breakdown.

TARRANT 

Very well, I’ll initiate landing manually.

SOOLIN 

No!

TARRANT 

Yes, yes! [he shoots at her]

[Soolin screams, then shouts in anger and hits Tarrant]

TARRANT 

Ohh, my head!

AVON 

Well done, Soolin. We’ve got to stop the countdown.

DAYNA 

[at the same time] Are you all right?

SOOLIN 

Oh, it’s only a graze. The plasma bullet just nicked my leg.

AVON 

Vila, have you got his gun?

VILA 

Sure, but don’t worry, Tarrant’s not going anywhere for a bit. He’s out cold. [Tarrant moans and Vila hits him] Well, he is now.

[Titan]

SERVALAN 

What’s happening? I’ve lost contact with Tarrant. Have you a visual of the ship?

MODNITZ 

I have.

SERVALAN  

Show me. [he does] Ah, good. She’s fired her retros, she’s going down. But why have I lost control? [she loses control] Why why why?

[Scorpio]

AVON 

She’s not responding.

SLAVE 

I have taken it upon myself to disable the manual controls, master. Once emergency landing procedures have been initiated, they must never be aborted. A crash would be inevitable. I deeply regret the necessity—

AVON 

Quiet! Positions for emergency landing!

SOOLIN 

Vila, Dayna. Give me a hand with Tarrant.

VILA 

Avon, you heard what Servalan said—a very nasty death! Do something!

AVON 

Once the engines go to full thrust, the point will be academic. Unless you’re strapped in, you’ll be dead anyway. Get to your position. Soolin. Is he still unconscious?

SOOLIN 

Yes.

AVON 

Strap him down.

SOOLIN 

Well, what do you think I’m doing? Unh. There.

DAYNA 

Not so tight, you’ll cut off the circulation.

SOOLIN 

[grunts] Good.

SLAVE 

Ten seconds to maximum deceleration.

VILA 

Here we go again.

SLAVE 

Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one.

[Scorpio lands]

AVON 

Everybody all right?

SOOLIN 

Yes.

DAYNA 

I’m fine.

VILA 

What does it matter, we’re all going to die anyway.

AVON 

Vila, you’re beginning to bore me. It seems to have escaped your memory that the outer shell of every ship is a radiation shield.

VILA 

Oh, yeah, that’s right. So, as long as we stay inside, we’re safe?

AVON 

Of course we are. Slave, what’s the level of radiation outside?

SLAVE 

Er, normal, master.

AVON 

What? It can’t be.

SLAVE 

Forgive me for contradicting you, master. Prone as I am to error, my sensors are in perfect working order. Background radiation is at the level expected for an Earth-type planet.

DAYNA 

But we saw it, the whole planet was glowing!

SLAVE 

Yes, madam. At approximately 37 kilometres from the surface, the ship passed through a belt of ionising radiation—

VILA 

Ahhh.

SLAVE 

—which terminated abruptly at about 32 kilometres. I humbly beg your pardon for having misled you so grossly—

DAYNA 

Thank you, that will do.

AVON 

Slave, show us what’s outside the ship, a 360 degrees scan.

SLAVE 

Yes, master.

AVON 

Hmm.

DAYNA 

Mm.

AVON 

Jungle. Certainly no sign of nuclear disaster.

VILA 

Does this mean we’re not gonna die?

AVON 

It means a great deal more than that. It means that we can acquire the secret of Doctor Rossum’s process for ourselves. As long as Tarrant is out for the count, Servalan doesn’t know that it’s safe to land. [he inserts Orac’s key] Orac. Is there a central computer operating on this planet, and if there is, tell us what functions it has.

ORAC 

I am impelled to override your question. Do not land. There is lethal radiation on the surface.

AVON 

We have landed. There is no danger.

ORAC 

According to the data I gathered on Syndexia, the—

DAYNA 

The sensors show that the radiation is at a normal level. I’m afraid your are wrong this time, Orac dear.

ORAC 

I am never wrong. The data was erroneous.

AVON 

Answer my question. Is there a central computer?

ORAC 

There is a central computer, bearing 263 degrees, minimum five kilometres, maximum eight. Unfortunately, the language used is one with which I am not familiar, a language of confusing texture, similar to the chaotic neural patterning of the human brain.

AVON 

So. Not only does Rossum’s secret still exist, but he’s got it up and running.

[Titan]

VLEDKA 

The commander suggests we should descend into the radiation zone.

SERVALAN 

What? If nobody can come up with a better suggestion than that... Why? How is that supposed to help?

VLEDKA 

Maybe...maybe the radiation is scrambling the transmission.

SERVALAN 

Captain Vledka. You are an imbecile. And the commander is another. I lost contact before the ship started its descent. I’m going to my cabin.

VLEDKA 

Do you wish me to, uh, join you?

SERVALAN 

Hah! [she leaves]

VLEDKA 

[sighs]

[On Kapeka]

DAYNA 

That’s some city!

VILA 

And the ships! There’s a fleet of them!

AVON 

And not just shuttles either. Those are starships.

DAYNA 

And all those people!

AVON 

If you can call them people. Take a look through these. [he hands her the binoculars]

DAYNA 

Thanks. [she focuses the binoculars] What on earth are they?

VILA 

What? What? Let me see.

DAYNA 

They’ve all got three legs. And three arms too!

VILA 

Let me see!

DAYNA 

Aliens!

AVON 

Robots, more likely.

VILA 

Look, let me see, it’s not fair.

DAYNA 

Life isn’t fair, you’ll find that out when you grow up. [she gives in and hands Vila the binoculars] Here you are.

AVON 

You certainly couldn’t call them androids.

VILA 

Why are they that purple colour?

ROBOT 

[in a synthesised Dalek-style voice] Stay exactly where you are. Throw down your guns. Obey me or you will be shot.

[Scorpio]

TARRANT 

Ahh, oh, my head. W-what’s happened?

SOOLIN 

Oh. You’re awake, are you?

TARRANT 

What’s going on? Ow. Why am I strapped down?

SOOLIN 

For safety.

TARRANT 

What? That doesn’t make sense.

SOOLIN 

[snorts] Our safety, not yours.

[Titan, Servalan’s cabin]

SERVALAN 

[opening comms] Vledka. In here. I’m in contact again.

VLEDKA 

[over comms] At once, madam.

[Scorpio]

TARRANT 

Where are the others? Have we landed? What’s got into you? Why are you so unfriendly?

SOOLIN 

You winged me in the leg, remember?

TARRANT 

Oh. Oh, yes, I did, didn’t I. I’m sorry. I don’t know why... I can only say I’m sorry.

SERVALAN 

[via the nanochip] That’s it, that’s it. Don’t let her know. Now, do exactly what I tell you.

TARRANT 

Please...could you loosen the straps a bit? Just a bit looser. I shan’t try anything. Please, it’s agony. [he sighs] Why should you trust me? I wouldn’t. But she’s not here now, Servalan I mean. It must be the radiation acting as a barrier or something. Please, Soolin, it really does hurt. Look, my fingers are going white.

SOOLIN 

Oh... All right. But no tricks. And only a touch, mind.

TARRANT 

Ohhh. Oh, that’s better. Ah! I’m getting pins and needles.

SOOLIN 

Yes. Well, I’m sorry it has to be like this.

SERVALAN 

You’ve got her. She’s starting to weaken. She’s not as tough as she thinks she is.

[On Kapeka]

VILA 

Don’t you find that extra leg gets in the way? I mean, if it was me, I’d be bound to trip over it.

ROBOT 

Silence.

VILA 

Yeah, but I’m interested—

AVON 

Vila, shut up.

ROBOT 

Watch them.

ROBOT 2 

Yes, sir.

AVON 

[quietly] I’d feel happier if they hadn’t taken our guns.

DAYNA 

At least they didn’t search us. I’ve still got my knife.

VILA 

Did you notice as we drove through the city, there wasn’t one real person?

DAYNA 

That’s right. Just these robot creatures, hundreds of them.

VILA 

And each one uglier than the next. Why do you suppose they’re all purple?

ROBOT 

Wait.

VILA 

Strewth! The economy jumbo size, the daddy of them all! And this one’s purple too.

GREAT ROBOT 

Silence!

DAYNA 

Oh, no!

GREAT ROBOT 

[with more expression than the other ones] Why have you come here? You—the tall one—step forward. Why do you trespass on my domain? Who are you? And what do you want?

AVON 

To see you.

GREAT ROBOT 

To see me? How do you know of my existence? Why—what is your name?

AVON 

My name is Avon. And you, unless I’m very much mistaken, are Doctor Rossum.

ROSSUM 

Avon? Avon, you bloody dear boy! Just let me get this wretched headset off. [his voice becomes normal] Ahh. Avon! If I believed in fate, you...you’re just the person to...ohh, you could not have come at a more opportune time!

AVON 

I’m very pleased to hear it. But why the charade?

ROSSUM 

Charade? That was no charade. The great neurobot is part of the plan and it is designed to intimidate. It’s just that until now I’ve had no opportunity to... Well, you must admit you were just a little bit frightened, hmm?

DAYNA 

Not really.

ROSSUM 

You must be Soolin.

DAYNA 

Dayna.

ROSSUM 

Dayna. Of course. And you would be Vila?

VILA 

Yes. I would be.

AVON 

How do you know our names?

ROSSUM 

I’ve kept my eyes open for your...your doings, ever since your names first appeared on the FedSec computer. Anybody who’s an enemy of those rogues is my friend. Now, come and sit down. [he leads them away, his voice fading out] Now, you’re still outlaws?

[Scorpio]

TARRANT 

[pleadingly] Soolin.

SOOLIN 

What is it?

TARRANT 

I don’t know about you, but I’m famished. We haven’t eaten since we arrived in Syndexia. Go on. [flirtatiously] You could always feed it to me.

SERVALAN 

That’s the way. Slowly, slowly. Win her confidence.

[Rossum’s headquarters]

ROSSUM 

My plans are complete, my people are ready, the great adventure can begin. And now I have you to join me.

DAYNA 

Your people? Do you mean the robots?

ROSSUM 

Oh, but they’re not robots, well, at least they are, but they’re far more than that. [he laughs briefly] If I were to tell you that I have—at a stroke so to speak—that I have solved all the problems of human existence, what would you say?

AVON 

I think I’m beginning to understand.

DAYNA 

But there aren’t any humans here.

ROSSUM 

Oh yes, there are. Tell her, Avon.

AVON 

They’re some sort of hybrid, half-human, half-robot. Right?

ROSSUM 

Nearly. They’re neurobots, that’s what I call them. Yes, took me a long time to think of it; it’s good, eh? Neurobots, hmm? Anyway, my neurobots are in fact the original inhabitants of Kapeka.

VILA 

I wondered where they’d got to. But there must have been hundreds of thousands of them.

ROSSUM 

Nearly two million. And they had their personalities, their total brain patterns, transferred to the computer-brains of the robot bodies, leaving their original bodies just a useless, empty shell. And there you are.

DAYNA 

But why should anybody want that to happen to them?

ROSSUM 

Oh, where shall I start? Because there’s theoretically no limit to the capacity of the robot brain you’re given, there’s an enormous increase in the intelligence quotient. There’s no illness any more, you have virtual immortality in fact. And because you have to have flesh and blood to experience emotions, there’s no more anger, no depression, in fact no misery at all.

VILA 

But—what about pleasure, joy, ecstasy?

ROSSUM 

Oh, of very little use. A rational equanimity is far more efficient. Of course, there’s usually a small residue of learned patterns of feeling after the transfer, but it soon evaporates.

VILA 

But why three legs? And three arms?

ROSSUM 

Now, I’m really proud of that. A third leg for balance, hmm? Think of a three-legged stool. And a third strong hand to hold things while you work on them with your other two. You can see it makes sense. Oh, it’s great fun correcting the mistakes of dear old mother nature.

VILA 

And the purple colour?

AVON 

[interrupting] There is one thing in all this that seems to make no sense at all.

ROSSUM 

And what is that?

AVON 

If it’s so...so desirable to be a neurobot, how is it that you haven’t transferred yourself?

ROSSUM 

Ah, you’ve put your finger on the nub of it. That is exactly what I’m going to do. I’m an old man with a wonky ticker as my dad used to say, my time’s running out. And you have arrived at exactly the right moment.

AVON 

I don’t understand.

ROSSUM 

Now that you have come to join me, today will be the day of my...my apotheosis. You shall be with me when I put on this headset for the very last time and activate the transfer I have dreamed of for so long. By the mere turning of that control, I shall enter into final communion with my creation. A unity of mind way beyond the puny understanding of these lumps of meat we live in. Today is the day I shall become a very god! ... Would you like some toasted cheese?

[he leaves]

[Scorpio]

SOOLIN 

Tarrant! You’re such a messy eater!

TARRANT 

No, it’s no good, it’s all going down my shirt.

SOOLIN 

Oh, dear.

TARRANT 

Look, there’s nothing for it, you’ll just have to undo one of my hands.

SOOLIN 

[sceptically] Oh, yes.

TARRANT 

Now come on, what can I do with one hand? And you can always keep out of reach. Word of a gentleman?

SOOLIN 

Oh...well...all right, but I warn you, if you— [she releases Tarrant, who hits her] Oh! Oh!

TARRANT 

Remarkable what you can do with one hand. I gave up being a gentleman years ago.

[Rossum’s headquarters]

AVON 

Hmm. He certainly seems a trifle disturbed.

VILA 

A trifle disturbed? A trifle? He’s got scrambled eggs inside that bonce of his.

DAYNA 

But what could this great adventure of Rossum’s be? We should have found out.

AVON 

I would guess that all the neurobots function through the king-sized one that Rossum was wired up to when we arrived. And if he’s going to transfer himself into that, then he’s not so far wrong. He will be a demigod compared with the human race, and then what?

VILA 

[thoughtfully] I wasn’t imagining it, was I? He did say toasted cheese?

DAYNA 

A takeover bid? The rest of mankind, is that what you think?

AVON 

What else could it be? And with an army of two million, all in his control...

VILA 

I’ll go and chase it up, right?

AVON 

[distracted] What? Oh yes, sure.

[Vila leaves]

AVON 

And the most dangerous thing of all as that he thinks he’s some sort of saviour.

[Scorpio]

TARRANT 

Slave, would a spacesuit protect me from the radiation outside?

SLAVE 

Oh, certainly, sir. However, no protection is necessary.

TARRANT 

What? Explain!

[Titan]

SERVALAN 

No radiation!

VLEDKA 

What is it, madam?

SERVALAN 

Quiet! ... Vledka! A gunship with a full complement of troopers—now!

[Elsewhere in Rossum’s headquarters]

ROBOT 

Ah. Mr Vila.

VILA 

Just the...the man...the neuro...just the bloke I was looking for.

ROBOT 

I was on my way to find you, sir.

VILA 

[tentatively hopeful] Dinner ready?

ROBOT 

If you will follow me...

[Rossum’s headquarters]

DAYNA 

Vila’s a long time. Do you suppose he’s all right?

AVON 

More to the point, what trouble is he getting into? I expect he went to find Rossum.

DAYNA 

[opening a door] Well, he’s not here.

AVON 

[opening another door] There’s somebody...through there. Behind the great neurobot.

DAYNA 

Look! Lying on that table!

AVON 

Vila!

ROSSUM 

[entering] Ah! There you are. I’ve got a surprise for you. Vila? Come and say hello to your friends.

VILABOT 

[entering, his synthesised voice still recognisably Vila’s] Hi there! Dinner’s nearly ready, apparently.

DAYNA 

Vila!

VILABOT 

What’s happened to my voice?

AVON 

Look at your hands—all three of them!

VILABOT 

Oh, no! W...what have you done to me?

ROSSUM 

Well, it takes a little getting used to, but you’ll soon feel the benefits.

AVON 

How dare you!

ROSSUM 

But you, you agreed to join me. How else could I—

AVON 

You must change him back!

ROSSUM 

I assure you, in a few hours, you’ll be—

VILABOT 

Please, I couldn’t bear to live like this!

ROSSUM 

Once we’ve incinerated the husk, ha, that’s probably...

AVON 

[dangerously] You burn them?

ROSSUM 

Well, of course we do. Always. Hygiene, you know. And then, Vila, you’ll feel entirely different. All I have to do is press this button—

DAYNA 

No! Stop!

VILABOT 

Noooooooo!

AVON 

You mustn’t do it!

ROSSUM 

I have offered you the greatest gift...

[Tarrant teleports in]

DAYNA 

Tarrant!

TARRANT 

Get back against the wall! I mean it! I shan’t hesitate to shoot. You too!

DAYNA 

OK, OK.

AVON 

I should do what he says, Doctor Rossum.

ROSSUM 

Don’t wave that thing at me, young man.

AVON 

What do you want? What’s going on?

TARRANT 

You’ll find out as soon as Servalan gets here. What’s wrong with Vila? Has he passed out?

VILABOT 

It’s all your fault, Tarrant.

TARRANT 

Vila?

VILABOT 

If you hadn’t forgotten your teleport bracelet... I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you for doing this to me!

TARRANT 

Keep back! [he fires]

VILABOT 

Aaaaaugh. [he dies]

DAYNA 

This is for Vila! [she throws her knife, presumably hitting Tarrant in the arm]

TARRANT 

Ah! Ow! Oh! [he drops his gun]

DAYNA 

Avon, get his gun!

AVON 

[doing so] Tarrant, get back. Stop making such a fuss. Is Vila all right?

DAYNA 

Far from it. Half his head is blown away. He’s dead. I’ll have my knife back, please. [Tarrant cries out in pain as she retrieves it] I’ve a good mind to stick it in your guts, you bastard!

AVON 

Dayna, it’s not his fault. Doctor Rossum, Servalan can hear every word we say. Can you fix it?

ROSSUM 

Oh, certainly.

[Servalan’s gunship]

SERVALAN 

Captain Vledka?

VLEDKA 

Commissioner?

SERVALAN 

He’s in that central tower with Avon and Rossum. Set us down in the courtyard.

VLEDKA 

Madam.

[Rossum’s headquarters]

ROSSUM 

There you are, my boy. You can wake up now. [he slaps Tarrant lightly] Wake up.

TARRANT 

Mm...what? Ah.

SOOLIN 

[opening comms] Come in, Avon. Can you hear me, Avon?

AVON 

I hear you, Soolin.

SOOLIN 

Tarrant’s got away. I say again, Tarrant has escaped. Look, I’m sorry, but—

AVON 

It’s all right, Soolin, he’s here and everything’s under control.

[Scorpio]

AVON 

[over comms] But Soolin...

SOOLIN 

Yes, what is it?

AVON 

Get yourself into a geostationary parking orbit. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to have to get out of here fast.

SOOLIN 

Yes, I hear what you’re saying. Out.

[Rossum’s headquarters]

AVON 

Now listen, Rossum. We obviously haven’t got much time. I came here for a purpose, and I don’t intend to leave empty-handed.

ROSSUM 

What do you mean?

AVON 

You’re going to give me the secret of syndeton control.

ROSSUM 

Hah! You think it’s as simple as A plus B equals C? You think you can carry it away on a slip of paper?

AVON 

No, Doctor Rossum, I don’t. I want the brain of the great neurobot.

ROSSUM 

Never.

AVON 

You say that you know all about me. Then you’ll know that I enjoy hurting people. And if there’s no other way...

VLEDKA 

[entering] Hands high, the lot of you! You! Slide that gun across to me. NOW!

[Avon does so]

SERVALAN 

And don’t try anything foolish, Avon. We have this place surrounded.

ROSSUM 

[breathlessly] Oh...tha...thank goodness you’re here.

SERVALAN 

Doctor Rossum, are you all right?

ROSSUM 

Yes, a small attack of angina. My heart, you understand. It’ll pass, it’ll pass. But it makes it all the more imperative, that I should wait no longer—

AVON 

No! Don’t let him do it!

SERVALAN 

Do what? What are you talking about? Doctor Rossum, stay where you are.

AVON 

If he puts on that headset and operates the control, he’ll be out of our reach, yours and mine. That’s what we’ve come for, you and I, to learn the secret of his power. If you let him slip your grasp now, it’s lost to both of us, forever.

ROSSUM 

Madame Servalan, I beg you!

SERVALAN 

So, what are you suggesting, Avon?

AVON 

We can work together to make him talk, and share the secret when we get it.

DAYNA 

Avon, no!

SERVALAN 

I’ve never been one for talking. I’d have thought you know me well enough by now. I prefer to do, and do I shall. If that is where the secret lies, then that is where I shall go.

VLEDKA 

Don’t do it, madam.

SERVALAN 

I’m touched by your concern, captain. This headset, you say? [she puts it on] Aaaaaaugh!

ROSSUM 

No! You mustn’t do it!

VLEDKA 

Stay where you are!

SERVALAN 

Ahh! This is what I’ve always dreamed of. Oh! To feel the fullness of the strength that’s flowing into my mind. I’m launched upon a torrent which is sweeping me away. [her voice becomes more robotic and other voices join it] And the torrent is Servalan!

ROSSUM 

Oh!

[Servalan continues to cry out during the following]

ROSSUM 

You must stop her. It has to be controlled.

AVON 

What? What’s that you say?

ROSSUM 

The enormity of the union can only be contained by an empty mind. I’ve spent years of preparation for this day. Her greed and pride will try to multiply themselves to an infinite degree.

AVON 

You mean a positive feedback?

ROSSUM 

Precisely that, a howl-round, a howl-round that will overload the circuitry of the brain. You’ve got to stop her!

AVON 

Servalan! Can you hear me?

SERVALAN 

I hear you, Avon. I hear you...

AVON 

Servalan! You’ve won! The long fight is over!

TARRANT 

Avon, what are you doing?

AVON 

Quiet! You are the victor, Servalan. Nothing can stand in your way. The Federation is yours!

SERVALAN 

Yes! Yes! Yes!

AVON 

You will be the leader of us all, the monarch that all shall obey. The great queen of the galaxy itself.

SERVALAN 

Oh yes! Oh yes! The queen of the galaxy at last! At last!

AVON 

And shall be greater still. Servalan, empress of the universe.

ROSSUM 

No, stop it, you must stop it, you will destroy the brain. You’ll destroy them all!

[the cries of the Kapekans can be heard under Servalan’s words]

SERVALAN 

Oh yes! The empress of the universe. Then the peoples of the cosmos shall bow before me, the planets worship me! The stars themselves will lie beneath my feet, and all the voices of creation shall cry my name in triumph: Servalan! Servalan! Servalaaaaaan...

ROSSUM 

What have you done!

AVON 

It’s over.

VLEDKA 

She’s dead.

AVON 

Is she, Captain Vledka? So what now? Are you going to arrest us?

VLEDKA 

Go your own way, Avon. There’s nothing more for me here. [he leaves]

ROSSUM 

[cries out]

DAYNA 

Doctor Rossum!

ROSSUM 

It’s my heart. Avon...you’ve killed my dream, you’ve killed my people, and I think you’ve killed me too.

AVON 

I have killed nothing. Your people, your neurobots, were never alive in the first place.

ROSSUM 

W...what are you saying?

AVON 

[opening comms] Soolin, are you there?

SOOLIN 

[over comms] Yes, I hear you, Avon. I’m in orbit.

AVON 

Stand by to take us up.

DAYNA 

No! We must take Vila’s body with us.

AVON 

Of course. Vila! [slaps Vila's cheek] Wake up!

VILA 

What...where...oh. Hi there, Avon. Is dinner ready?

DAYNA 

Vila!

ROSSUM 

Alive? But that can’t be... He was transferred to that neurobot that was killed!

AVON 

You still don’t understand, do you? Vila was never ‘transferred’. Your neurobots were nothing but automata, no more alive than a computer game.

ROSSUM 

But...what about their bodies? The bodies I incinerated all those years ago.

TARRANT 

You burned them alive.

AVON 

It was you who killed your people, not I. Nearly two million of them. I’d call that genocide, Doctor Rossum.

ROSSUM 

[chokes and gasps] Ah...oh!

DAYNA 

Doctor Rossum!

ROSSUM 

I...I’m sorry...I’m sorry.

AVON 

Who are you saying sorry to, old man?

ROSSUM 

[gasps and dies]

DAYNA 

He’s dead.

[Scorpio]

VILA 

[opening a bottle of bubbly] Quick, quick, the glasses. Come on everybody, grab one.

SOOLIN 

Do you think this is a good idea?

VILA 

Oh, come on, Soolin, don’t be such a wet blanket. It’s not everybody who gets to celebrate his own resurrection.

TARRANT 

I think we’re all lucky to be alive.

DAYNA 

I’ll drink to that.

TARRANT 

As Vila was still alive, does that mean that Servalan was alive as well?

AVON 

I wonder. She was still connected directly to the giant neurobot’s brain when it blew up.

SLAVE 

Ten seconds to hyper-jump. Ten...nine...

TARRANT 

Everyone get in position.

SLAVE 

...eight...seven...six...five...

VILA 

But why were they purple?

SLAVE 

[continues to count down]